Friday, April 4, 2014

Stay Sane as SAHM (SSaSAHM)

About a decade ago, I had been dreaming of becoming a homemaker. You know the kind that bakes fresh bread everyday for my husband and child/children; cooks sumptuous meals; keeps the house smelling fresh and looking spic and span; knitting sweaters and the likes and making quilted blankets. I have always admired mothers like this, those who chose to stay and "work" at home full time. At that time, I would always talk to some of my married female colleagues and ask them why they chose to work instead of stay at home and "be" there for their families, specially their children. Although majority of them said that they need to do it rather than they want to, one of them, who happened to be a very good friend too surprised me when she said that it's because she wanted to. And like a dormant volcano that is reawakened by some geophysical changes (I know, big word, right? Never mind it, heehee), my friend gushed out her "acceptable-but-made-me-think-about-it reasons. While she was relating her experience to me, I could feel her pain and disappointment. I could tell, she was not happy at all.

Fast forward to today, I am blissfully married to my husband and joyful (ha!) mom to a 2-year old girl. I was, in a way, waiting for that time that I would feel the same way like my friend did 10 years ago. To be honest, there was a time I felt like I didn't want to be home just taking care of the baby and running a household 24/7. I missed getting dressed, wearing high heels and putting on makeup. I missed traveling and going to different places in and out of the country. I missed meeting and talking to a lot of people. I just missed everything that comes along with working outside the house. I was beginning to think that maybe, what my friend told me a decade ago was really true: it's horrible to be a stay-at-home mom. It would "ruin" you. It would make you insane.

Then it dawned on me that I didn’t have to feel that way, in fact. Yes, I didn’t have control over what’s happening around me but I had a choice, I was given a choice. In reality I believe, everyone is given options. I could either choose to feel despondent, discouraged and a “loser” OR I could be thankful for this rare opportunity and privilege to be together with my baby; to take care of her and observe every milestone she achieves. I realized my home has a lot to offer me (aside from seeing my baby’s smiles and enjoying her kisses and hugs, heehee) so I could enjoy our little nest. I have listed down 4 ideas/activities which a new stay-at-home mom could do while… you’re a stay-at-home mom.

Rekindle your old passion.
I have always loved books and reading them. I started reading at the age of 5 or 4, as I remembered it. I would read everything I came across with from the sari-sari store sign board to a scrap of newspaper or comics that were used to wrap some stuff from the market bought by my Mamu. I could read English story books and a fast reader of Tagalog books at the age of 6. In fact, my Grade 1 teacher even told me to help some of my classmates to read. I was like her little assistant teacher at that time. Long story short, I really love to read. However, as time went by and I grew older and became busy with work, I found myself drifting away from this fondness of mine but it didn’t stop me from accumulating a number of books. My thought was always, “I’ll read this when I have time. I know I’ll be able to read this when I take my vacation.” But it never happened. I was busy all the time. Then I became a mom (yes!). It’s a blessing in so many ways than one. One of these is I get to read the books that I have in our shelves and other books that I borrow from friends. I have set a Reading Project goal for myself this year, that is, to finish 1-2 books per month. So far, I’m doing well. Although I must admit that sometimes the mommy duties get in the way.

Be the Miracle by Regina Brett

Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris

Reading Project 2014

Another hobby which I have put in the back burner for a long time is doing embroidery specifically cross-stitching. Ever since I have learned how to do it I was hooked. I was in college and a friend and classmate taught me. I have done quite a few projects but then again, for some reason, I stopped. Now that I’m a mom and have some spare time (only when baby is asleep, heehee), I “sew”. I am glad to say that I have finished one project and starting with another one. I am also joining the Dare Your Mind to Create Promo. Of course I’m doing it for the prize (let’s be honest here, haha) and also for the satisfaction of being able to finish a “masterpiece”.

My first cross-stitch project since I became a mom

Be craft-y.
Am I serious in saying this? Does it mean you have to be sneaky and follow your husband wherever he goes? A big NO! Haha! That’s not what I mean. What I mean is do arts and crafts even if you don’t consider yourself craft-y or even an artist. There’s a wealth of inspiration you can get from the Internet (especially Pinterest) and it will motivate you to make or create something out of the ordinary. Who knows, you may discover that hidden talent that’s been waiting to be revealed? You can also do crafts and arts with your kid/kids. I love it whenever my li’l fashionista and I do something craft-y. It’s one of our bonding moments. Whenever she sees me holding colour papers, a pair of scissors, washi tapes and pens, she would stop whatever she’s doing and would ask me, “Mommy, that? Mommy, try baby please?” Isn’t that a lot of fun? You get to do what you want to do and at the same time you get to bond with your kid.

DIY pompom

Paper butterflies

Our li'l fashionista

Meet with like-minded people or kindred spirits.
Being a stay-at-home mom 24/7 is no joke. Sure it feels great to be with your bundle of joy from the time she is born and every moment after. However, reality strikes that moms are also human beings which means that we are by nature, social beings. We need to associate with other people. We should also see the world outside our “world”. Because if we don’t do that, we are slowly but surely heading to our own “devastation”. That is why I am so glad that there are workshops and events for moms nowadays. I would say that mommies these days are blessed because there are women/moms who had “been there, done that” situations that are proponents of several advocacies and campaigns that could really help or inspire other moms.

One of the workshops I had attended this year which started my “blissful blogging” was the “Blog your Bliss” Workshop by Martine de Luna. It was so inspiring that when I got home I thought about my blog and how to make it more meaningful. I always look at the hand out Martine gave us and it’s like my reference for everything that I need to do in my blog. What’s more, she gave us a free blog critique (after doing and submitting our assignment) which is very substantial and useful. The best part is I got to meet a lot of wonderful blissfinders like me; one of them is my Alemars Nadia.

Blog Your Bliss Workshop

BYB Handout

Me and Martine

Another workshop is for the SAHMs who would like to be WAHM (Work-at-Home Mom). I have gone to the 1st one last January 18th and I have never regretted attending it. In fact, there’s another one coming up on April 5th and I’ll be there too. The first workshop made me see what really matters, the clock or the compass. It's one of the things I have learned about time management; how to prioritize your activities as a SAHM or even a WAHM. The event this Saturday is about “How to Run an Online Store”. If you are a SAHM, you feel like your hobby/passion can be profitable and you would like to make a living out of it at the comforts of your home, then come and join me (and other moms as well who will be attending this workshop). This must be “it” that you’re looking for.

Stop and smell the flowers... in other words, treat yourself for some "me" time.
I believe that it is never bad to love and think of ourselves once in a while. We can never give what we do not have. How can we love our family and the people around us if we don't love ourselves? Being a great wife and awesome mom doesn't mean you have to forget about yourself. It means being able to take care of your family without losing yourself in the process. So, please don't be afraid to "live a little, love a little... that's the glory of love." :)

"Me" time at La Creperie
It is never too late to enjoy and SSaSAHM. These are some of my ways to stay sane as one and I hope I am able to give you some inspiration. How about you? What are your ways to keep your sanity as SAHM? Would love to hear your thoughts.

No comments:

Post a Comment