Of Bliss, Beauty and Blessings

I didn't come from a wealthy family nor was I raised from an economically-challenged household. Let's just say that my siblings and I were blessed to have two good parents who did everything to make our childhood days and lives a little bit easy. We didn't always have what we want but what we needed were always given to us.

I grew up and lived the kind of life I wanted: pampered and sheltered but never spoiled. Besides my parents who still supported me even when I had my own job, I was blessed to have siblings who saw me through in one way or another. I had a pretty "good" life if you may call it that. Then I got married. Still, it was favorable, for both my husband and I had jobs that sufficiently provided our daily needs. Things began to change though when I opted to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) after I gave birth to our first-born daughter. The family's needs were not directly proportional to the household income; the law of supply and demand was never applicable, there was a high demand for cash yet still there was only ample supply. Of course it was hard on me. I felt like I hit the rock bottom. It was not the kind of life I wanted for my budding family, more so for my daughter.

Almost three years have passed and I would say things are quite different now. I wish I could tell you that, "hey, myhusband's salary now has left us thinking what to buy next", or maybe like, "there's more supply (of cash) than demand (needs)." No,that's not the turnaround I'm talking about. It's more on the inward change; on how I see and perceive things, what is important or what matters most.

I learned to be more grateful for every simple thing my family and I receive. A piece of Magnum Gold given to me by a former boss; a book/s lent to me by a friend/s without due date; a call/text from a friend whom I have not seen for a long time; a toy truck lent to our daughter; a simple dinner at a friend's house; dresses given to our daughter as gift; a once-in-a-blue moon dinner/lunch date with hubby and baby; a family walk in the neighborhood at night and finding cozy coffee shops; a short trip to the bookstores; a cup of brewed coffee; a Bible verse that speaks volume to my heart; workshops/seminars I am able to attend because someone paid on my behalf; a trip/travel with hubby/daddy even if baby and I would just stay in a budget-friendly hotel while Daddy is conducting training/seminar; a video chat with my parents and siblings; a visit to my in-laws' house or lunch out with them; moments I spend with my daughter; eating lunch together at home; having someone come to the house to do the laundry and ironing of clothes; hubby washing the dishes or cooking for breakfast, lunch and dinner or massaging my tired feet; hugs, kisses and the sweet I love yous from my daughter; I could go on and on and you'll see one common thing: I'm thankful for simple things that life offers me. This is the beauty of life's curve ball; one's outlook deepens, perspective widens.

I feel blessed that God has given me the joy that is not dependent on material things. I may not have the latest gadget nor the most expensive shoes, designer bags or fashionable clothes but I'm content. Frankly, I don't need a lot to be happy. I have what I need for my God has not failed to supply it. I find this a blessing and also my bliss.

Stay Sane as SAHM (SSaSAHM)

About a decade ago, I had been dreaming of becoming a homemaker. You know the kind that bakes fresh bread everyday for my husband and child/children; cooks sumptuous meals; keeps the house smelling fresh and looking spic and span; knitting sweaters and the likes and making quilted blankets. I have always admired mothers like this, those who chose to stay and "work" at home full time. At that time, I would always talk to some of my married female colleagues and ask them why they chose to work instead of stay at home and "be" there for their families, specially their children. Although majority of them said that they need to do it rather than they want to, one of them, who happened to be a very good friend too surprised me when she said that it's because she wanted to. And like a dormant volcano that is reawakened by some geophysical changes (I know, big word, right? Never mind it, heehee), my friend gushed out her "acceptable-but-made-me-think-about-it reasons. While she was relating her experience to me, I could feel her pain and disappointment. I could tell, she was not happy at all.

Fast forward to today, I am blissfully married to my husband and joyful (ha!) mom to a 2-year old girl. I was, in a way, waiting for that time that I would feel the same way like my friend did 10 years ago. To be honest, there was a time I felt like I didn't want to be home just taking care of the baby and running a household 24/7. I missed getting dressed, wearing high heels and putting on makeup. I missed traveling and going to different places in and out of the country. I missed meeting and talking to a lot of people. I just missed everything that comes along with working outside the house. I was beginning to think that maybe, what my friend told me a decade ago was really true: it's horrible to be a stay-at-home mom. It would "ruin" you. It would make you insane.

Then it dawned on me that I didn’t have to feel that way, in fact. Yes, I didn’t have control over what’s happening around me but I had a choice, I was given a choice. In reality I believe, everyone is given options. I could either choose to feel despondent, discouraged and a “loser” OR I could be thankful for this rare opportunity and privilege to be together with my baby; to take care of her and observe every milestone she achieves. I realized my home has a lot to offer me (aside from seeing my baby’s smiles and enjoying her kisses and hugs, heehee) so I could enjoy our little nest. I have listed down 4 ideas/activities which a new stay-at-home mom could do while… you’re a stay-at-home mom.

Rekindle your old passion.

I have always loved books and reading them. I started reading at the age of 5 or 4, as I remembered it. I would read everything I came across with from the sari-sari store sign board to a scrap of newspaper or comics that were used to wrap some stuff from the market bought by my Mamu. I could read English story books and a fast reader of Tagalog books at the age of 6. In fact, my Grade 1 teacher even told me to help some of my classmates to read. I was like her little assistant teacher at that time. Long story short, I really love to read. However, as time went by and I grew older and became busy with work, I found myself drifting away from this fondness of mine but it didn’t stop me from accumulating a number of books. My thought was always, “I’ll read this when I have time. I know I’ll be able to read this when I take my vacation.” But it never happened. I was busy all the time. Then I became a mom (yes!). It’s a blessing in so many ways than one. One of these is I get to read the books that I have in our shelves and other books that I borrow from friends. I have set a Reading Project goal for myself this year, that is, to finish 1-2 books per month. So far, I’m doing well. Although I must admit that sometimes the mommy duties get in the way.

Be the Miracle by Regina Brett

Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris

Reading Project 2014

Another hobby which I have put in the back burner for a long time is doing embroidery specifically cross-stitching. Ever since I have learned how to do it I was hooked. I was in college and a friend and classmate taught me. I have done quite a few projects but then again, for some reason, I stopped. Now that I’m a mom and have some spare time (only when baby is asleep, heehee), I “sew”. I am glad to say that I have finished one project and starting with another one. I am also joining the Dare Your Mind to Create Promo. Of course I’m doing it for the prize (let’s be honest here, haha) and also for the satisfaction of being able to finish a “masterpiece”.

My first cross-stitch project since I became a mom

Be craft-y.

Am I serious in saying this? Does it mean you have to be sneaky and follow your husband wherever he goes? A big NO! Haha! That’s not what I mean. What I mean is do arts and crafts even if you don’t consider yourself craft-y or even an artist. There’s a wealth of inspiration you can get from the Internet (especially Pinterest) and it will motivate you to make or create something out of the ordinary. Who knows, you may discover that hidden talent that’s been waiting to be revealed? You can also do crafts and arts with your kid/kids. I love it whenever my li’l fashionista and I do something craft-y. It’s one of our bonding moments. Whenever she sees me holding colour papers, a pair of scissors, washi tapes and pens, she would stop whatever she’s doing and would ask me, “Mommy, that? Mommy, try baby please?” Isn’t that a lot of fun? You get to do what you want to do and at the same time you get to bond with your kid.

DIY pompom

Paper butterflies

Our li'l fashionista

 

Meet with like-minded people or kindred spirits.

Being a stay-at-home mom 24/7 is no joke. Sure it feels great to be with your bundle of joy from the time she is born and every moment after. However, reality strikes that moms are also human beings which means that we are by nature, social beings. We need to associate with other people. We should also see the world outside our “world”. Because if we don’t do that, we are slowly but surely heading to our own “devastation”. That is why I am so glad that there are workshops and events for moms nowadays. I would say that mommies these days are blessed because there are women/moms who had “been there, done that” situations that are proponents of several advocacies and campaigns that could really help or inspire other moms.

One of the workshops I had attended this year which started my “blissful blogging” was the “Blog your Bliss” Workshop by Martine de Luna. It was so inspiring that when I got home I thought about my blog and how to make it more meaningful. I always look at the hand out Martine gave us and it’s like my reference for everything that I need to do in my blog. What’s more, she gave us a free blog critique (after doing and submitting our assignment) which is very substantial and useful. The best part is I got to meet a lot of wonderful blissfinders like me; one of them is my Alemars Nadia.

Blog Your Bliss Workshop

BYB Handout

Me and Martine

Another workshop is for the SAHMs who would like to be WAHM (Work-at-Home Mom). I have gone to the 1^st one last January 18th and I have never regretted attending it. In fact, there’s another one coming up on April 5th and I’ll be there too. The first workshop made me see what really matters, the clock or the compass. It's one of the things I have learned about time management; how to prioritize your activities as a SAHM or even a WAHM. The event this Saturday is about “How to Run an Online Store”. If you are a SAHM, you feel like your hobby/passion can be profitable and you would like to make a living out of it at the comforts of your home, then come and join me (and other moms as well who will be attending this workshop). This must be “it” that you’re looking for.

Stop and smell the flowers... in other words, treat yourself for some "me" time.

I believe that it is never bad to love and think of ourselves once in a while. We can never give what we do not have. How can we love our family and the people around us if we don't love ourselves? Being a great wife and awesome mom doesn't mean you have to forget about yourself. It means being able to take care of your family without losing yourself in the process. So, please don't be afraid to "live a little, love a little... that's the glory of love." :)

"Me" time at La Creperie

It is never too late to enjoy and SSaSAHM. These are some of my ways to stay sane as one and I hope I am able to give you some inspiration. How about you? What are your ways to keep your sanity as SAHM? Would love to hear your thoughts.

The Proverbs 31 Woman (Becoming a Beautiful Woman Part 3)

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised "

Proverbs 31:30

I have always been fascinated with the proverbial woman whom King Lemuel's queen mother described in the Bible (don't know who King Lemuel is? Please read it here ). As a young girl and well-acquainted with the Bible, I have forever been dreaming of becoming one. Of course, just like any other girls, it was also my childhood dream to become a princess. And I have an inkling that the Proverbs 31 woman was either a queen or a princess, you know why? Because it's the queen mother who characterized her to the king! How would she know? It takes one to know one, right? :)

Anyhow, going back to my fascination, I just remembered, while this idea was still brewing in my mind, two guy friends I had back in college. Both were special in one way or another; one of them was my friend since high school while the other one was a special someone during those days. My high school/college friend told me while we were casually chatting about his special someone that I was "one of the finest women" he had met in his life. Of course, I was surprised, no, actually I was elated! Hahaha! Imagine hearing that from a guy. I felt like a princess at that time being praised by a charming prince friend. The other guy, who once was a special someone (hahaha), on the other hand, gave me the verse above. He said he saw me as the Proverbs 31 woman. Again, ang haba ng hair ko, but that statement was not yet uso at that time, haha! Definitely, I was flattered (who wouldn't, di ba?).

Now I am writing this not to give you pointers or tips on how to become a Proverbs 31 Woman (or mom for that matter). No, I have not reached that status yet, I think I haven't even come close. Being that kind of woman seem impossible, she "looked" so perfect. But I believe, just like every human being or woman who has walked here on earth, she had her own share of imperfections although she (again, I would like to believe) focused on her strengths rather than on her weaknesses. I am writing this to inspire each one of us; that though this woman "lived" thousands of years ago, I would say that I still see this kind of woman these days. So, who is the Proverbs 31 woman today? She is the...

1. Faithful wife to her husband - vv. 11, 12.

Our wedding bands

Do you still remember these words? "I, (your name, please), take you (your husband's name), to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Wasn't it exciting and blissful the first time you had said those truthful words? Well, I tell you, after 5, 10 or even 20 years, that statement should still remain true for you... in thoughts, in words and in deeds. A faithful wife is an excellent wife, the Proverbs said. It is even far more precious than jewels. I may not be able to wear costly diamonds or precious pearls but if I am faithful to the one God gave me to be my husband, then I know I'm more invaluable than any of those treasures. I am his priceless possession.

2. Happy homemaker (stay-at-home mom/domestic goddess or work-at-home mom) - vv. 15, 21, 27.

Me and baby at 1 month

 It's been my dream to be a happy homemaker. You know the kind that bakes the bread for her husband and kids so that her family would eat fresh bread everyday; putting flowers in different parts of the house so it would smell spring-y; sew simple clothes and curtains; knit jackets and make quilted blankets? Yes, I have dreamed of becoming like that. I haven't done any of those... yet. But I am happy. I'm a blissful stay-at-home mom (SAHM). It's also my desire to help my husband make ends meet, that is to be a work-at-home mommy (WAHM). I am hopeful that I'm getting there... slowly but surely.

Some of the beautiful WAHMmies I have met, my ka-"tribe"

3. Artistic and creative crafter and/or hobbyist - vv. 19, 22, 24.

iCreate: cross-stitch, DIY, origami... washi tapes? iLove! :) 

 I have seen a lot of very creative and artistic mothers. Just look at Pinterest and you'll understand what I am talking about. Aren't they all amazing? All I can say is, "W.O.W."!

4. Hardworking career/business/working woman/mom - vv. 13, 14, 27.

Alemars Nadia

My Alemars Mommy Nadia is a very hardworking woman/mom. She's not only working in a non-government organization, she also has a business to run (not to mention a household) and on her way to homeschooling her soon-to-be-3-years-old son. She's just one of the so many diligent women/mothers who would do everything for her family and "looks well to the ways of her household".

5. Ingenious mompreneur/momtrepreneur - vv. 16 - 18.
I don't know about you but I noticed that these days more and more moms are carving out a reputation as successful mompreneurs/momtrepreneurs. And this new, how should I call it, "title" is not just another feather in the cap, but also a proof that mothers are resourceful and skillful.

6. Gracious philanthropist - v. 20.
Philanthropists are people who give or donate their money and time for the welfare of others.They could also be individuals who willingly volunteer and through this volunteering deeds greatly affect others. We, moms may not be able to give large sum of money but as long as we render our time and support to the needy, I consider that as act of philanthropy. I remember a friend who donated her breastmilk to some of the kids affected by the Haiyan typhoon. I believe it's not only my friend who extended that kind of help, there were other gracious philanthropist moms who did that as well.

7. Honest politician - v. 25
With all the hullaballoo going on right now in our beloved country which involves politicians and their pork barrels, I would like to believe that somewhere in the Philippines, somehow, there is still an honest Filipino leader or legislator (that happens to be a woman or mom too!). Let's just keep praying and believing. Who knows? One day, it could be you... and me! :)

8. Passionate teacher - v. 26
This could be, well, a teacher whom we see in the schools. Have you ever noticed? Majority of  teachers, specially during my time (I'm not that old, heehee), are single women or mothers. Nowadays, a teacher could be a mom who doesn't have to go to school or doesn't even have to earn a licensure exam for teachers. She could be a mom who passionately homeschool her children. And I have seen awesome moms like that, homeschooling her 7 children! How could she do that?

I am desiring to home educate my precious daughter too. I'm so thankful that there are other home school advocates and also moms in this country. I know I am not alone. My desire for this type of education for my daughter was beefed up when I got to attend homeschooling conference and workshops sponsored by The Learning Basket . Those events were really very helpful and encouraging. I believe in their mantra: I am my child's "first and best teacher".

9. Woman who fears God - v. 30
The last chapter of the Proverbs said that a woman who fears God is to be praised. I believe this is the best part of being a Proverbs 31 woman. She loves God above all and because of that, her beauty from within radiates, surpassing the physical appearance. And I can't think of any other women who epitomize this characteristic more than my mother and mother-in-law. They may not be the prettiest (according to the world's standard) but for me, they are simply the best!

My mom, or Mamu (that's how I call her) is the bravest and strongest woman I have ever met. I'm not talking about the physical capability here but the emotional and spiritual strength. With all the challenges and hardships she had been through, I couldn't admire her more. She's just awesome and the nice thing is she doesn't take the glory. She would always give the praises back to the Lord. You'll always hear her say, "Glory to God."

My Mamu

My mother-in-law is the other woman who exemplify the "woman who fears the Lord". Whenever negative issues arise, she's quick to say, "Leave it to the Lord and let Him take care of it." Instead of dwelling on the hurts or pains caused by other people, she would say, "Pray for him/her. Forgive and just let the Lord do His job." Isn't that something?

My MIL holding our li'l fashionista at 1 year old

Becoming a beautiful woman physically is not bad. It is rewarding, actually. You get a lot of "oohs" and "aahs";  people's heads turn, not just once but twice; men become gentle (as in gentlemen) and give you their seats or their spots; there's a lot of perks. However, the Proverbs say that it is fleeting, it doesn't last long and it is deceptive. This book of maxims admonish us to seek that kind of beauty that lasts, which comes from within; that is a life that reveres, honors and loves God. It is still possible to become a Proverbs 31 woman in our time. We may not be "all" that she is, but I'm sure, in one way or another we fall under one of her characteristics.

How about you? Do you also desire to be this kind of woman? In what way/s are you like her? Please feel free to share your thoughts. :)