How My Toddler Learned to Say "I Am Sorry"

Just like any toddlers, my daughter is not perfect. I mean, she has her meltdowns, is sometimes mischievous and behaves like, well, like a 3-year old should do. But if there's one thing that I'm very proud of is that, at a very young age, even before she learned to say the word, she already knew how to say "sorry".

I can still remember, when she was one and a half year old, whenever I called her attention because she's not "listening" to what I'm telling her - of course, that would make my voice firm and a little louder than usual - she would immediately come to me then hug and kiss me. At that time I didn't know what she's doing or what she's up to. Eventually I realized it's her way of telling me she's sorry for whatever she might have done or for not listening to me. Soon she's able to talk and could "articulate" her feelings of regret. It melts my heart every time she does it.

So, how did she learn to say these 3 precious words? I am not claiming to be an expert in this matter but my experience has taught me that these "steps" (or whatever you may want to call them) really work for us.

Start early. It is never too early to teach our children the kind of values we want them to have.
As early as possible we should exert effort to inculcate in them the beliefs that hold true to us.

Teach by example. It is one thing to say it, doing it is entirely a different thing. Our actions speak volumes to our children more than the words they're hearing from us. As far as I can remember, I didn't tell my daughter at that age to say "I'm sorry" whenever she "offended" me or her dad. My thought at the time, "How will she understand it? Wait until she turns two." However, whenever I did something wrong (that would mean, I got mad at her for no reason or I had misjudged her actions), I was quick to say, "I'm sorry, baby. Mommy, didn't listen to what you're trying to tell her. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I love you so much." Little did I realize that that left a deep impression in her heart- that there's nothing wrong with admitting you're wrong and it's okay to say you're sorry.

Sometimes the challenge with us adults, or parents for that matter is that, we're too "proud" to acknowledge our own mistakes. We think that because our children are "just kids" and we're the grown ups, we are always right. As a result, we don't say sorry to them and in turn, they won't as well.

Be a good model. Growing up, my siblings and I would say "I'm sorry" whenever we would offend anyone among us or even our parents. Why is that? Fortunately for us, my mother is a good role model. As a result, I have carried that "habit" until now. Being a couple, my husband and I are quick to admit our faults and say "sorry" to one another when we know that we've offended each other. We're unabashed to acknowledge our mistakes before each other and even in front of our daughter. And I believe that made a great impact to our daughter. Remember, in the eyes of a child: If daddy and mommy are doing it, then it must be right.

Commend the act. One of the things I do after our daughter say, "I'm sorry" is hug her. Since her primary love language is physical touch, mommy hugging her after she admits she's wrong makes her feel forgiven and loved. I believe that just like us adults, it takes a lot of courage for a child to confess she regrets the wrong she's done. So appreciating the act will encourage the child to bring out the same positive response when a situation calls for it.

I hope these simple steps help you as well in teaching your child/children say "I'm sorry" and other common courtesies. Can you think of other ways/steps? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Why Did We Choose to Homeschool Our Daughter?

Even before I got pregnant I was already contemplating where to put my would-be child when the time for her to go to school comes. As an educator myself, I believe that investing in one's education is of paramount importance, thus that idea inside my head. Along that line of thought was (and still is) the desire to make sure that my kid would not only get the best learning but also acquire the kind of beliefs and values that we, her parents would instill in her tender heart. And because I have had teaching experience for more than 5 years, I would also like to see to it that my kid would be taught the way she learns best; that her maximum potential would be tapped and brought out; that she would leave the school building one day armed with the knowledge she needs; confident yet clothe with humility; prepared to serve God and help her fellowmen.

Then I got pregnant; the wheels inside my head started to turn again. As I began to search for schools (yes even when my daughter was still in my womb), I realized that "best education" comes with a tag price; it's like you get what you pay for. There's nothing wrong with that, I believe. However, for an average or middle class family like ours, we won't be able to afford that so-called "best education" (or should I say, "best schools").

The Lord must have seen my anxious heart because at that time, someone introduced to me the idea of homeschooling. She and her husband are missionaries and because they need to be traveling all the time, they homeschooled their only daughter. I have high regards for this couple and I have seen and met their daughter who is now a missionary also and children's pastor in Thailand. I love what I saw! So, I mentioned this to my husband who at first was very apprehensive about the idea but now is so supportive of it.

Now you might be wondering,  why then did we choose to homeschool our daughter? If you will look closely, I somewhat have mentioned most of my/our reasons for having this option. But for a more elaborate look, here's why:

1. We want to inculcate in our daughter the beliefs and values we hold dear.
My husband and I believe in the God of the Bible. The Lord Jesus is our personal Lord and Savior. We acknowledge the power of the Holy Spirit; that He is a Person and not just a force. These are the beliefs we hold to and would like to pass on to our daughter. It would be the greatest or best legacy we could leave her. Having said thus, we desire that the values she'll live by are founded on Biblical truths and principles. There's nothing like seeing our offspring walking in the path that God has prepared for her.

2. We want to make sure that she will be taught the way she learns best.
I taught for quite a number of years. I know that most teachers teach the way they learn because I was like that before. The nice thing though was, most of the students I taught have the same learning style as I do. But come to think of it, how about the children/students that learn differently? I'm so glad that I taught in a school that believed in the uniqueness of each child so the teachers were trained and equipped to teach the students the way they learn best. I saw the positive impact of this to my former students: they were confident to show or display what they have learned either through arts, music, dance or drama, that means beyond the use of paper and pen.

3. We want to be her first and best teachers.
My mom was my first teacher: she taught me how to write my name! :)  Until this very day, I can still remember how my mom would write my name on the paper bag (supot) of pandesal (local bread) and then give it to me and I would write my name on it following the pattern she gave me. I cherish it and I want to do the same for my daughter; not just teach her how to write her name though, even more. I believe all of us, in one way or another was "homeschooled" even before the idea itself has become phenomenal. Someone said that for children, love is spelled as t-i-m-e. I believe that spending time to teach and learn with our daughter is one of the ways we can show her that we love her.

I know that to do homeschool is not an easy feat, that is why I am so grateful and I feel blessed that nowadays homeschooling is making a big wave in the Philippines. A lot of parents are opting to be their children's first and best teachers. Thus, a Homeschool Conference is going to be held on September 6, 2014. This is presented by The Learning Basket, Manila Workshops and Unilab. More than the learning I will gain, I am going to this conference to meet like-minded people who I believe will become my friends eventually. Also, I know that the inspirational talks of the seasoned and passionate homeschooling parents will come in handy on those days when I feel like giving up. 

How about you? Do you plan to homeschool your kid/s too? Will I see you on the 6th of September at the conference? Hope to bump into you! :)

How My Daughter Potty-Trained Herself (That's How I'd Like to Think of It)!

I know most of you won't believe it. Some may even say that it's impossible, haha! But I'd like to believe that my daughter potty-trained herself. Here's a little bit of the story.

Barely 18 months old, our baby would always go to the bathroom door, point to the toilet bowl and say, "Mom, poop." or "Mom, weewee." So, was that it? No! The problem was, I wasn't ready yet to potty-train her. I thought she was too young to do it. I believed at that time, kids that age need to wait for at least another 6 months to be able to do it. What I did was (please don't follow this example), discourage her from using the toilet. Every time she would go to the bathroom door, take off her pants and diaper, I would always say, "Baby, you don't have to use that yet. You're still a baby. Let's wait until you're 2 years old, okay?" And she was like, "Mom, weewee." This went on for 2 to 3 weeks, then she stopped.

Finally the day I have been waiting for came; she celebrated her 2nd birthday. Two months after her birthday, I told her, "Baby, now is the time for you to use the potty." She stared at me and said, "No Mommy, baby pa (I'm still a baby). When I'm big girl. Baby use potty." My jaw dropped and I couldn't say anything. So I started looking for articles on how to potty train a toddler. Then it hit me. Potty training starts when the child, not the mommy or daddy, is ready. :(

A couple of months passed by and nothing happened to our potty-training. Six months after her birthday, we bought her a pink potty and several books about potty training (since she loves to read) but still this was what she would reply to my prodding, "No, mommy. When I'm big girl na."

Potty-training paraphernalias

My heart sank and I thought that she would never learn to use the potty. Or if she does learn, it would be too late or she might be too old (or at least 5 years old) by that time. I was so guilt-stricken; I would always tell myself, "I should have allowed her to use the toilet when she was younger. What have I done?" It came a point in time that I even prayed for it; that the Lord would make her ready to potty train (and I know the Lord answers prayers). :)

And then one day, in July, two months before she turns three this year, she told me, "Mommy, help baby take off pants and diaper please." I was like, "Why?" She said, "I no want wear diaper, Mommy. I want wear panty." I was like, "Really?" Of course my smile was from ear to ear! So I obliged and helped her wear her underwear. Then it happened. She got her potty, put it inside her bedroom and shouted, "Mommy, baby weewee, I use potty!" Then she sat on it. "Mommy, come here please." I said, "Hold on baby." Because I wanted to take a picture of her, haha! And then she asked me, "Hear that?" I said, "No." Then she asked me again, "Hear that?" Finally, I heard the tinkle! Yay!

So, how did my daughter exactly potty-train herself ? Well again, that's how I would like to think of it. :)

Because her Dad and I surrounded her with books about it, she kept reading them.
My daughter loves books, as in she really does! So we grabbed that advantage; I bought books (two books only); her Dad and I took turns in reading them to her while she kept reading her favorite. She specially likes Karen Katz' "A Potty for Me". She so likes that part "I'm so proud of me!" And I guessed at that time, part of her was wishing she could also say that one day. And she did!

Karen Katz Books

She read it everyday and every night.

She would do some "practice".
We do know that practice makes perfect, don't we? I just can't believe that at her age she already knows the principle! Last June, she told me, "Mommy, I no want diaper." I was like, "No, baby. You should wear it or else you'll wet your pants." My daughter said, "No, mommy. Baby wear panty." So, I took it as a sign that she was ready. But then of course, she wet her undies. And I reassuringly told her, "It's okay, baby. It happens. That means, you have to use your potty now. " She was like, "No, mommy, I wear white diaper (training pants/diaper) and baby get no wet." Then I helped her wear her white diaper. That was the scene every other day that month. It was what I call, "practice number 1".

"Practice number 2" is like this: every time she would feel like she wanted to pee, she would ask me to take off her underwear and then she would get her potty and sit on it. And because I so badly wanted to document it, instead of helping her, I would get my phone and prepare to take a picture. She would say, "Mommy, no picture please." Of course, I would listen and then hold her hands while singing to her so she could finally do it. Then she would say, "Ayo, mommy. No weewee." So, I would help her put on her undies back again. That went on and on for like 2 weeks.

It's one of those days (practice number 2) :)

The Day We Have Been Waiting For Finally Came

Then one day, as I have already mentioned above, last month - two months before she turns 3 years old this year, it happened. She sat on her potty and peed! Hooray! And I was right, she was looking forward to that day when she could say, "Mommy, Am proud of me!" I told her, "You did it, baby! I'm so proud of you!"

"Hear that?"

"Am so proud of me!" Yay!

From that day onwards, she has been using her potty to pee and poop. We are able to save on diapers; she would just use them when we're going out /traveling or when she goes to sleep at night. The nice thing is, even during nap time, she would insist not to wear diaper. At first I got worried that she might wet our bed so I told her that wouldn't work. But one afternoon, she begged me not to put on her a diaper even if she'd take a nap. I obliged but was kind of worried. You know what? She's right! She didn't pee while asleep but as soon as she woke up she told me, "Mommy, baby weewee. Go toilet, please."

Potty training, I believe, isn't about how good the parent/s is/are in training their kid/s. It's about the child in training. It's his/her readiness that really matters. As parents, we need to be as understanding, patient and supportive as we can be.

How about you? How did you potty train your kid/s? Am I right to think that my daughter potty-trained herself? I would love to hear your thoughts. :)