Words You Ought to Hear (and the World to Know): An Open Letter to My Sister

Dearest Ate,

Today is your blessed day. Let me start this letter by greeting you, "Happy Birthday". Wow! I can't believe you turn 40 today. It seemed like it was just yesterday when we were playing (together with our younger brothers) inside our 40-sqm rented apartment in Laguna. That place was our haven, our secret place where we had fun and dreamed together. Honestly, I miss those days. If there was one thing that I really cherish in my childhood days was that the four of us were so close. Mamu really did a good job in raising us, her children.

Alright, back to you... There are so many things I would like to do (not to mention, buy) for you so you would feel happy today. And so many words in my heart that I wish to say to warm your heart. I know I won't be able to tell you these without tears streaming down my cheeks... from my heart to yours. I believe you need to hear these:

You are beautiful inside and out.
When we were still in shorts and shirts, I always looked up to you. What Ate wore, I would like to wear. How Ate looked like, I wanted to look like it too. When people asked, "Who is more beautiful, you or Ate?" My answer was always the same, "Ate po." Because that's true. As we grew up, people may have had different views about how we looked (some said we looked like twins, others said you're prettier while still others found me a tad beautiful than you are, heehee), but in my heart, you're still my beautiful Ate. The reason for this is because I know you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord (Psalm 139:14). You are "you-nique". You are you. There is no other "Jinky" in this whole wide world (or even in the world wide web) with the same DNA strand like yours. Your beauty is beyond skin deep. It's that kind of beauty that enthralls the hearts of many because it comes from within. I pray that you won't let that loveliness be ruined by people whose judgment depends merely on what is seen by the naked eye.

You are smart.
Remember that time during our school days when I was always topping my class while you were, let's say, an average student? You asked me at that time, "Why can't I be like you? Why am I not as intelligent as you are?" I recall to mind that my reply to you was, "Ate, you're smart too. We are smart in different ways." At that time, I didn't know about the Multiple Intelligence Theory yet. Had I known I would have lambasted those people who were comparing us two.

You are body-smart.  I could still see you dancing oh so gracefully, captivating the attention of the audience. Someone could just show you the dance steps and you would move like those steps were yours, effortlessly. I could never, ever dance the way you do. Honestly, I envy you. How about those Declamation and Oratorical Contests? You always won. You brought home medals. I never did (just academic medals, heehee).

You are picture-smart. You are an artist. You could draw, color and do those Home Economics projects with ease. You never struggled completing them, I did. It was so easy for you to fulfill all the requirements. The truth is, your only struggle at that time was you were not inspired (or should I say, lazy?) to do it.

You are music-smart. You have a beautiful voice. Given the proper training, I know you will be able to do singing gigs someday, somewhere. So, enhance it. :)

You are a nice and very kind person.
So kind that people take advantage of you. You are known for it. I have never met a person that knows you who has said otherwise. It was always, "Ah si Jinky (Jing), sobrang bait na tao nyan." But you have to know that kindness doesn't mean you don't have to speak up when it is called for. Being nice doesn't always mean you just have to bear the pain, insults and hurts that some people are inflicting or causing you. It's never wrong to stand up and let them know how you feel. It's your right to express what you feel and not be scared of letting them know they cause you pain. Yes, you are a kind person, show them that, but you're not dumb.

You are a sister and friend.
There are sisters and there are friends. You are both. I am just so blessed to be called your younger sister. You have been a very, very good one to me. I still remember that time when all the toys that you had ever wanted were given to you by Lola and I had none; how you always made sure that whatever you had, I had too. Be it toys, dresses, slippers/shoes even jewelries. Wow! Who could ever ask for more? Another instance I recall was when I was in college and you bought this chic and expensive Guess shirt for yourself. You had not worn it and yet you lent it to me and said, "Suot mo muna para okay naman ang itsura mo (Wear it so you'll look good)." Hahaha! You were (and until now) so concerned about the way I look. You want me to be the best in everything. You were my number one fan! Hahaha! And now my number one sponsor, hahaha! You are my sister and my friend rolled into one.

You are here for a purpose.
You were brought forth into this world not by accident. Forty years ago, when Daddy and Mamu fell in love with each other, you were born. However, even before time began, you were already part of God's idea. He knows you. He knows you by name. He has you in His mind as He created the world. In His manifold wisdom He determined the country to place you in (Acts 17:26) and also the family to which you should belong. What's more, He foresees the plans He has for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). You were born with a purpose. So, know that purpose and live it for only you can fulfill it.

There are other "up-worthy" stuff to tell the world about you but I believe what I have enumerated above are enough to make you feel your worth. You are precious to me, to those people who love you and most specially to the Lord who has created you. Your worth is not defined by what negative people are telling about you. Your worth is determined by God who loves you and your family and loved ones who are always here for you.

A blessed and blissful birthday to you, Ate Ganda. This is my little surprise. I may not be able to buy you the most expensive gift on planet Earth but I tell you this post is worth buckets of tears and was written with my heart brimming with love. You are one of God's greatest gifts to me. I could never ask for another Ate than you. I love you and I want the world to know.

Mother's Day Celebration 2014

I am thankful that in a year I get to celebrate two special days just for me; my birthday and Mother's Day. This year was my third time to celebrate Mother's Day. I am not the type who would always want to get all the attention (but it doesn't hurt to be noticed once in a while) to myself, although I must admit that I really love to be surprised (happy surprises of course). Yesterday was just one of the few and simple (but meaningful) surprises I received from my husband. It was Mother's Day Celebration. He just came from his out of town trip that morning. He didn't tell me whether he had plans or what his plans were on that day. He even forgot to greet me (hahaha) when I came out of our bedroom to greet him "Good morning" and welcome him back. Sweet thing though was, he bought pancakes and coffee for me.

It was a Sunday so we went to church. While listening to our pastor's sermon, our daughter asked me to accompany her to go outside. My husband went with her instead and allowed me to just relax and enjoy listening to the preaching of God's Word. After sometime, I heard my daughter calling me, "Mommy, look! O-pop (referring to her lollipop, given to her from the Sunday School class). Look Mommy, flower. " as she handed me a white tuft of crepe paper with green handle/stem. It was a "project" from the SS class which was done by my husband and our baby (for mothers). It's nothing grand but for me it was the best "flower" I have ever received yet for the simple reason that it came from them and lovingly made by them.

the best Mother's Day flower

Then after the worship service, my husband asked me where I wanted to have dinner. I told him, it's up to him, though I was tempted to say, "Surprise me!" Haha! We got that from Ratatouille. So he asked me if I would like to eat at Chilli's. Wow! I said, "Sure!" For some, Chilli's might be their everyday go-to for lunch or dinner. But for us, we go there once in a blue moon, that is, during special occasions only.

Chicken Crispy Salad and Chicken & Beef Combo for hubby and me; Crispers and Fries and Orange Juice for our li'l fashionista

It was a very simple, special and sumptuous dinner. It was a meaningful celebration. Celebrating Mother's Day for the third time now has made me realized that it's not the fancy dinner (although there's nothing wrong with it) nor the lavish gifts (let me say it again, there's nothing wrong with it) that make the celebration special. It's the reason/s why you are celebrating it. As for me, I celebrate Mother's Day because:

After 4 years of marriage and 2 miscarriages, God remembered me. I have a God who has never forgotten me.
He saw my tears. He heard my cries. He gave me a promise. He opened my womb. Mother's Day for me, is a celebration of thanksgiving, an offering of praise and gratitude to the Giver of gifts, the Promise Keeper, the Miracle Worker.

I have a husband whom God has chosen to be the father of my child.
My husband may not be the handsomest, the brightest nor the richest (all according to the world's standard but of course for me, he is the -est of those adjectives, heehee. Yes, I'm in love with him. Haha!), but He is God's best for me. I celebrate Mother's Day because I have someone to call "my husband" whom I share responsibility with in raising our daughter. I am blessed and glad that I get to celebrate this occasion with a husband by my side. I am not alone. I am a mother and he is a father. :)

I have a daughter who calls me "Mom".

I am a mom because of you.

These three things are my reasons why I cherish every Mother's Day; celebrating it with thanksgiving to the Lord and with the loves of my life. For me, that's what matters most.

How about you, moms? How did you celebrate our special day? I would love to hear from you.

I Heart Being a Mom

Hello there! I'm back to blogging world after what seems like forever. I definitely miss writing. And though my hands are full right now (hubby is out of town for work), I know I need to right. What better way to start my blogging adventure again after a long hiatus than to write a topic that is very close to my heart... Being a mom. So, here I go!

Last month, I shared with you why I love being a mommy. I gave my top three reasons why it's great to be a mom. Also, I mentioned about an event that would allow me and other mommy bloggers to meet up with expectant moms of Nazareth Home. Three days ago, I was privileged and blessed to be a part of this gathering. 

It was conceptualized and organized by JLo, a mommy blogger herself. It was a pre- Mother's Day Celebration cum baby shower for the new moms and moms to be under the care of Kaisahang Buhay Foundation. KBF is a non-government organization that offers different programs and services for the welfare and development of expectant single moms and their children. Aside from providing the basic needs of these moms (like shelter and medical necessities), KBF also meets their emotional and spiritual needs by rendering counseling.

Food, Give-away, Donation, Etc.

I was happy to be able to meet great people and adorable babies. I would say that everything (food, give-away, donation, program) and what transpired that afternoon were good. Two special people (mother and son) though tugged at my heart, made me cry and gave me these insights.

It matters not whether it's your first or eighth baby; a mother is always a new mom when a new baby comes.
 
Mommy H is not a first time mom. She has already 7 children from a previous marriage.She entrusted them to her mother's care back in the province so she could work in Manila and provide for them. Then it happened. She got pregnant by another man and although the man was man enough to take full responsibility for what had happened, she couldn't agree with him to live with him and "leave" her 7 children. More than a week ago, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. And just like every "new mom", she wants the best for her baby; has big dreams for her little man and wanting to give him the best that she could give.

A baby is always a blessing.

I believe that babies are like mornings. They are God's way of telling us that He has not given up on us (mankind) yet. Therefore I say, a baby is always a blessing, no matter what. The newborn babies were the first one to greet me when I entered the door of Nazareth Home. My heart melted as I looked at them. So precious. Then I got to meet and hold the little man of Mommy H. He is so handsome! As much as Mommy H loves him, sadly she cannot keep him. She has lots of "what ifs" in her mind. However, she is thinking of entrusting him to someone or a couple who will be able to provide for her little man. With this thought she is also hoping that one day she will see him again. As I listened to her, my tears just welled up in my eyes and began to trickle down my cheeks. I could feel the pain inside. Looking at her baby I felt like he was my own and couldn't bear the fact that he'd be taken away from her. All I could say at that time was, "You know, baby ____ is a blessing to you. Let's ask the Lord to show you what His perfect will for you and baby ___. I know He only wants the best for both of you."

Adorable Babies

One can always extend a helping hand.

Although I brought some "gifts" for the "girls" of Nazareth Home, at that time I felt like those were not enough. More than the material blessings, I believe they also need emotional support and spiritual guidance. Before I said goodbye to Mommy H and her little man, I offered to pray for them. I knew it was the best gift that I could give them. I also assured her that I would be praying for her and the baby even after that event.

When I came home I told my husband about the event and my one-on-one moment with Mommy H. I expressed my desire to go back to Nazareth Home and give whatever we could to Mommy H and her little man. I'm so blessed to have a husband who does not only believe in me but supports me. One of these days I'll go back to Nazareth Home together with my husband and our baby.

I Heart Being a Mom event was a new and first one for me. I am so thankful that I had been chosen to be one of the mommy bloggers to witness (and blog) it. Thank you JLo for making this possible. Heartfelt gratitude also goes to those who helped and supported this event.

Sisters' Sweetness

M Catering & Fine Foods
Party Boosters
King Sue Ham
KidiKraft
Tickled Moms
Digital Filipino

Mommy Bloggers together with Ms. Mae (Resource Speaker)

I hope that this is not the last. I am looking forward to seeing (and being a part) of more cause-oriented and blog worthy events.

Becoming a Beautiful Woman (Part 2)

About a week ago or so, I started this series about becoming a beautiful woman (read it here). Although this coincided with the International Women's Month Celebration, the thought of "beautifying myself" was actually one of my goals this 2014.

Becoming a beautiful woman I believe is a continuing process. However, just like any processes it must begin from something, and that is, from within ourselves, from our hearts. Subsequently, what we have started will not stop there, it will show and our physical appearance will project it. And once displayed, all we have to do is maintain it. But how do we keep ourselves physically beautiful? I am not a beauty expert but I have some beauty routines that I would like to share here. I hope it will help moms, also other women in general and inspire them to have their own. So, here it goes...

Start with a clear and clean skin.
 A clean and clear skin is always, always where every beauty ritual should start with. I believe that it really doesn’t matter how much make up I put on, not to mention the cost of each cosmetic, if I don't have that spotless (or should I say, dirt-free) skin. Thus, I make sure that I constantly wash my face. The facial wash doesn't have to be pricey, as long as it works for me, then I'm okay with it. Truth be told, I really don't buy my facial wash (haha, thanks to my sponsor, my beloved big sister, heehee). My skin care habit is pretty simple; wash and moisturize. That’s it? Yes, that’s it, yet it does wonder to my face and I'd bet it would give the same advantage to you too. I wash it in the morning and then wash it again before I go to bed. I use the moisturizer only in the morning. But if you have a night cream, it’s much better. What’s important is the routine of cleaning the face in the morning and evening.

Facial Wash

Using the Oilatum bar was sort of an experiment. We bought it about a year ago for our baby (that is before we discovered Mustela). Sadly, for some reason, we were not able to use Oilatum for her. So, it was just stocked inside the cabinet. Then one day, I saw them (there were two bars) and they are about to expire this year. It will be a waste if I don't use them, sayang naman. It's quite expensive for baby soap. So, I used it on my face (experimentation) then I saw an amazing results. It's like a beauty bar. It made my facial skin softer, smoother and clearer. I would say my little experiment, not to mention the price of this baby soap is really worth it.

After washing the face, the next thing to do is to put on moisturizer. I wasn't fond of moisturizers before. With a hot weather like ours, who would want a sticky and oily face? But I was wrong about that idea. Even in a hot and humid country like ours, I realized I still need to apply moisturizer. It makes my skin supple and younger-looking. I am not advertising or promoting this product but I really love Olay Total Effects. I learned to use this because my mom, my dad (!), my big sister and Tita are all using it. Before I was like, what's with this product that they all like it? I tried it and now I'm hooked.

There you go, that is pretty much it; wash and moisturize and I believe every woman will reap from it.

A little makeup won’t hurt.

My sister and I were always part of our school program during our elementary days. One of the things that I liked about it was, we did not only get to dress up but we had also the chance to be made up. Because of that we grew up with fondness for cosmetics colour palette but I didn’t get to use makeups again until I had to teach. My students’ parents told me that I could pass for their children’s classmate because I looked so young. My co-teachers then came to the rescue and taught me how to put on makeup. Since then whenever I would go to work I didn’t fail to apply makeup and I loved it. It was a bit time-consuming and it took a while before I managed to prettify myself in 10 minutes or less. I’m not saying I have reached perfection, nor am I an expert, but at least I know how to put a bit of color on my face. I believe every woman; moms specially should have a makeup kit with the “basics” such as, face powder, lipstick, lip balm and blush on. I think a hint of tint on our face will not only make others admire us but it will make you feel good about yourself. I remember, the first time my baby saw me wearing makeup she said, “Mommy, nice!” Hearing that from my baby, it was… flattering.

 

Eye Essentials

Face Powder

Lip Savers

Spritz, Spray or Dab

I love it when people pass by me and they leave a sweet scent. It’s like I want to stay close to that person and just smell her all day long. I remember during my college days when some of my girl classmates would just sit beside me and say, “You smell so good, can I sit beside you?” I love that feeling. It gives me more confidence. It makes me feel beautiful. For me, the scent of a woman is evocative; it gives an impression to others that you know how to take care of yourself… even if you’re a fulltime mom. That is why whenever I leave the house, I always spray cologne all over my body though I just have to go to the supermarket. Every time there is a special event or gathering or even meet up with friends, I wear a perfume for the simple reason that it’s more long lasting. I love it whenever I get a scent of myself as I move. I always carry my perfume/cologne in my bag so I can still spray on some more wherever I go.

 

Scent of Joy

In conclusion, I believe that becoming a beautiful woman is not just being “Belofied” or “Cathyfied”, although it’s not bad to have that privilege. It’s about feeling good inside because I am at peace with my God, content with what I have while still in pursuit of the dreams God placed in my heart and comfortable with living in the present. It is also about taking care of my body and at the same time running a household, loving my hubby and raising a baby. It is about believing that I can be a great mom and awesome wife without losing myself in the process. And that kind of beauty, no matter how you conceal it, will always show.

My Beauty Stash

 

Becoming a Beautiful Woman

It was part of my 2014 goal to "beautify" myself. That means, I will not be leaving the house anymore without a dab of face powder, a hint of blush on my cheeks and a swipe of lip gloss and lipstick. You see when I became a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), my thoughts were like, "Why would I need to put on makeup when I go to the grocery or when my husband, our baby and I are going out on a date? People would see anyway that I am a mom and they would rather look at my daughter than me. I don't care what I look like. I am carrying a baby (also breastfeeding her whenever she needs milk), people would not care." So, for one and a half years, I think, I was thinking and acting like that. It was au contraire to my usual self 3 to 4 years ago when I was still a working woman.

Around 4 years ago. I was accompanying a friend and colleague to go sight-seeing in the metro.

Birthday celebration 3 1/2 years ago. Had a yogurt right after dinner with a friend who asked for help in lesson planning.

Hubby and I at a couple's fellowship, 3 years ago.

However, I noticed that the more I tried to do the things I used to do when I was not yet a mother, the more I failed. After a week of being successful to doing my beauty rituals, I would often find myself slacking off again. Then one day, it just hit me (my aha! moment). Being beautiful doesn't start from the physical appearance, it has to commence from within, from my heart and even my soul.

After that realization, I paused for a while (I was actually in the bathroom when this happened), looked at myself in the mirror then asked myself, "How is your heart? How is your inner beauty?" So, here's my take on how to keep a woman's inner beauty.

A renewed relationship with the Lord is always the first step.

During that time of my aha! moment, it dawned on me that my relationship with my God in the past several months was not as ardent as before. Yes, I still pray, only hurriedly. Yes, I read my Bible, but only out of because-I-have-to rather than because-I-expect-to-hear-from-you-Lord reason. And yes, I go to church regularly because I need to and not because "I am excited to worship with fellow believers." So, first thing firsts, I rekindle my commitment with my God. I am not saying that I have finally made it perfect but it's a continuing process that is being refreshed day after day. I thank the Lord for His mercies towards me never fail, they are new every morning (according to prophet Jeremiah), indeed, great is His faithfulness! 

Live in the present.

As cliche as it may sound, it's true. I have this habit of always looking back. What's wrong with that? There should be nothing wrong with that, if and only if, I do it just to reminisce the past, recount the lessons I have gleaned and then apply them in the present. The problem is, that's not what I do. Time and again, I would try to relive the past and tell myself, "What if I did this instead? What if this is the decision I had made? What if..." Full of what ifs and regrets. And because of that my mind would always be filled with trepidation that were not really necessary. Remember the nugget of wisdom Ooguay (from the Kung Fu Panda) told Po, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called present." I believe there's a lot of truth in that statement. Live not in yesterday, not even in tomorrow but in today.

Keep a quiet heart.

I have this book by Elisabeth Elliot entitled Keep a Quiet Heart. She's one of my favorite Christian authors. She is a very good writer and I just love her and all her works. 

What does it mean to keep a quiet heart? For me, it's being at peace with my God, myself and others. It's being content with what I have while endeavor to be the best person that I could be. It is simply seeing the good and loveliness in everything that surrounds me instead of focusing on the unpleasantness. Similarly, it is accepting the things (or even people) as they are, specially if I know that it is not for me to put the matters in my hand. Plainly put, keep a quiet heart.

These are the three points that I have to remind myself of every now and then. As I have said, I have not reached perfection (who has, anyway?) but I am a work in progress. The beautiful thing is, as the process keeps on, the beauty from within, the true beauty radiates and no matter what you do, it just shows.

How about you? How do you keep your inner beauty? It would be lovely to hear you.

My Reading Project and S.M.A.R.T.Heart Goals

Last month, I have made a decision to start again with my reading project. I began this actually during the last quarter of last year. Sad to say, I was not able to get it going, for some reason. So when the New Year rolled in, I resolved to do it all over again, thus my Reading Project 2014.

My 3 books for January 2014

 I was so excited that I hurriedly took a picture of the 3 books (Be the Miracle by Regina Brett, Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris and Long Walk to Freedom – The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela) that were in my hand and posted it in my Instagram pinionsandplumageoflove and Facebook accounts, without even considering if I would really be able to accomplish this “small” feat. I thought, “Well, I’m off to a good start. I’m following S.M.A.R.T. guideline for goal setting. These 3 books are doable in one month (I’ve started reading on the 2nd week of January).” Then, February approached and I’m not finished with the 2 books (Not Even a Hint and Long Walk to Freedom).

 

The book I got to finish before January ended: Be the Miracle

The book 2 I'm trying to finish before February 9th. Yikes! :)

What happened? Didn’t I just follow the SMART thing? Isn’t it the smartest thing to do? My thoughts at that time:

Wasn’t my goal Specific? – My big goal is to read most if not all of the books I have accumulated throughout the years. Because of my busyness before (I was working fulltime in a non-government organization), I seldom had the time to read, although it’s one of my hobbies and stress relievers. So when finally I gave birth and opted to stay at home and “work fulltime” mom, I came to a decision to read all my books. Now, isn’t that specific?

Was it Measurable? – After putting down the first book (Be the Miracle) and ticking off the small dot in my planner signifying that I was done, imagine my bliss. I was ecstatic! I remember, my husband would always laugh at me (in a loving way, of course) whenever I begged for some time off to be alone and for him to take care of the baby just so I could finish my book one. One book in 3 days? Yes, I believe my goal was measurable.

Wasn't it Attainable or Achievable? – Devouring all the books in one month is of course neither realistic nor possible. Unless of course I burn them, then the fire would eat them up in just hours. How do I make it achievable? It’s like ordering a 2-pound juicy steak in a restaurant. Instead of chewing the whole thing, what do you do? You cut it into bite-size pieces and savour the flavour as you chew it, right? Thus I think, reading 2-3 books per month is workable.

Was it Realistic? – I can say that what I set for my reading project goal last month is realistic or sensible, in a way. Why? Honestly, I was already finished with three or four chapters in my two books (Be the Miracle and Not Even a Hint). They were actually unfinished goals in December (yeah, I know, it had broken my heart already). I was thinking that I would be able to finish these two in no time, then start off with the 3^rd book and by the end of January, I would just say, “Done!” So, is it realistic? For others maybe. For a mom with a 2-year old super active and precocious daughter and a household to run, it could have been, with a little squeezing in of time.

Was it Time bound? – Definitely! Hahaha! I wanted those 3 books read by the end of January. Isn’t that what time bound means? The beauty of this time thingy is that after you accomplished your goal no matter how small it is, you feel good inside, right? I read somewhere that one of the differences of the happy people from the unhappy ones is that the happy individuals set goals with time consideration while the unhappy folks don’t. Yes, they do set goals but without thinking when to bring them about. I mentioned above (#2 Measurable) the joy I felt when I finished my first book in my list on the date that I set it to be done. Yes, it’s a small thing but really, no, it mattered much.
 

After my evaluation, I asked myself, “So, where did I go wrong?” At that moment I realized something – my heart was not into it when I set my goal. Yes, my mind was working but my heart was not moving along. It was simply “just to have a goal” and “for the sake of goal setting”.  At that point I understand, it’s not enough just to have my brain working on my goals, I have to involve my heart too.  The brain gives the reason and the logic while the heart provides the passion and the excitement. The brain is the engine while the heart is the fuel. My brain could give me a lot of things I should accomplish for this year but it is my heart that would energize me to get them done.

How about you? How are you doing with accomplishing your goals so far? Do you think my S.M.A.R.T. Heart would help? I would love to hear from you.