All I Ever Have to Be

There comes a time when I feel like I would like to do more than what I am doing right now (as a wife and mom); to be somewhere more "exciting"than when I am right now and to become somebody than who I am right now. It's a gnawing sensation that doesn't seem to stop unless I do something about it.

Oftentimes, I find myself living in the past; thinking what could have happened if I had only chosen the other path of the bifurcating road that was in front of me then. I could have been this; I could have done that; I could have been there. What adds fuel to the fire is that, in many cases, I compare my life and myself with others. Why am I not like him/her?

Then this song I learned when I was younger than today (heehee) reminded me of where my perspective should be...

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavily on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one
I think I am
I think I am

Then You gently re-remind me
That You've made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst
And I realise the good in me is only there
Because of who You are
Who You are

And all I ever have to be is what You've made me
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan
As You daily recreate me, help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be,
All I have to be,
All I ever have to be
Is what You've made me.

It's not about me. It's not about what I do. It's all about Him who has wonderfully created me and purposefully placed me in this world. Like the potter to a clay, He designs me according to His divine will and reasons. He directs me towards the path that He wants me to traverse.

It's not just about the dreams (whether immense or small) that are seemingly sleeping inside my heart but it's about the Giver of these desires and aspirations. It's about being obedient to His call. I may be doing "great" or "more" things in people's eyes but if they're not part of His perfect design for me, then that will mean nothing; those are nothing. And since He lovingly placed those dreams in my heart, He is also faithful to fulfil those through me. All I need to do is to trust Him; obey and believe that all I ever have to do, all I have to be, is what He has made me.

An Unexpected Blessing: How I Celebrated My Birthday "Unexpectedly"

I just noticed that since the time I told myself to be grateful even for simple things, I have also started feeling blessed. Last June 9th, I celebrated my 39th birthday (yes, I am not ashamed of my age, haha). And although I (and my sister) sponsored a birthday giveaway, I didn't have or buy something for myself, and that's totally fine with me. On that day, my husband and I didn't prepare a special menu or the usual "handa", no plans whatsoever. I was simply glad and grateful to wake up to another day given to me by God, that in itself, for me was already noteworthy. That day was also made one-of-a-kind by the hugs, kisses and untiring "Happy birthday, Mommy!" greetings of my daughter, my husband's bear hug and sweet kisses (of course), sincere greetings from my family and the 100+ greetings and wishes on my Facebook wall from friends. How could I ask for more? :)

Then on that same day, three minutes before two in the afternoon, an unexpected text message came. It was unexpected because this person, I know, is a very busy one. I didn't expect she'd greet me on that day, that she'd remember.She was my head pastor in Laguna. She was a mentor and friend. :)

Unexpected text message :)

So, after our exchange of text messages, we came up with a decision to meet that night for she and her husband were already in the metro (Ortigas, to be exact). We met and dine at Tong Yang in Megamall. To tell you honestly, that was the first time (again) my husband and I have been to Tong Yang. The last time was when our baby was not yet here. It was our daughter's very first time and she enjoyed the food, the company and the experience. We all did, actually. It was truly a blessing, an unexpected one.

With Rev. Virgie Hernandez and her husband Bro. Bong

After hours of eating (haha!), I was greeted by the waiters and staff of Tong Yang, which by the way came also as a surprise. I know a lot of restaurants are doing this but at that moment, I was oblivious to that fact, heehee. For some reason it didn't enter my mind that such thing was going to happen. Surprise! Surprise! :)

Yours truly

With my loves

I'm blessed beyond words for all the good things that God has done and continues to do in my life. My life may not have been a luxurious one, still I find myself blessed. I guess it's in the simple things that one can really find bliss. So blessed, so grateful. Grateful to God. For everything. For His wonderful servants, Ptra. Virgie and Bro. Bong Hernandez. For my husband and daughter. For my family and friends. I am not a saint but the Lord has blessed me with undeserved favor (that is, grace) and unexpected blessings.

Blessed Beyond Words

This should have been posted a month ago but because a lot of things were happening all at the same time, I wasn't able to do so. However, I feel like this is just the perfect time to do it. Hope you enjoy reading this post and find yourself also, whatever circumstance you may be in right now, blessed beyond words.

I saw this in my Instagram weeks before May 16th.

  

 

It was a contest sponsored by Mommy Mundo. My first thought was, "I want to join this one." Then a second thought comes, "Nah. I'm not a lucky one in this kind of contest. I will only get frustrated." So, I just ignored it. But on the night of May 15th, I saw in my IG feed that it was the last day of submission of entries and I only had 9 hours left for my entry to be counted in. I knew I really wanted to join. At that time, it was not for the prize anymore. Deep inside me, something was telling me, it's more for being a blessing to other moms; moms who have chosen to stay at home to run the household, take care of the baby/babies and breastfeed her/them, moms who maybe feeling that "her time has passed and she's already left behind", moms who are feeling downhearted for not pursuing the career they have always dreamed of... I did it for "us".

Then without any expectation, the Lord surprised me with this.

 

 

I really couldn't believe it. I was literally jumping for joy as I told my husband and my daughter, "I won! I won! Yay! Thank you, Jesus!" I remember our baby even asked me, "Mommy, [what] happened?" Haha! It's really when you do something without expecting anything in return that you are being blessed.

On May 17th, a Saturday, after coming from a workshop (another post), I went to the ExpoMom Bazaar together with my Alemars Nadia.

Holding my Php5K - worth gift certificate

Came with my bag only. The You the Mom tote bag from ExpoMom was the only thing I was wishing for even before I joined the contest.

With Alemars Nadia

Let the shopping galore begin!

Of course the first one in my mind was my daughter... I've been dreaming of buying this for her. At last, it's now a reality.

Wonder World's 50 pieces of blocks

Look how happy and excited she is!

Cycles for my baby's clothes

Eye candy goodies from Paper Chic Studio for mommy and baby's arts and crafts

My daughter so loves the sand's texture. This is also one of the things that I would like to buy for her before. Glad I was finally able to do it.

No, I don't have a son. But it was my prayer to be able to bless a certain baby boy from Nazareth Home. I just thank the Lord for allowing me to be His vessel.

This is baby MJ. I bought him two rompers. Hope he likes them. 

As I have mentioned above, I came to the bazaar holding only my bag. But because of God's goodness, I left the event with my hands literally full.

Blessed beyond words

The stuff I brought home

I am so blessed beyond words. My heartfelt gratitude goes to the organizers, staff and sponsors of ExpoMom bazaar.

So thankful to this lovely and magnanimous woman (and mom, too) behind Mommy Mundo. You the Mom, Ms. Janice!

Thankful to Ms. Sam and Ms. Gemma (not in the picture because she's too camera shy) for the assistance.

Yes, I'm the mom! :)

In case you're wondering what my winning post/picture was, it's this:

'After 4 years of marriage and 2 miscarriages, I have finally become a mom. Opted to be a stay at home mom (SAHM) and breastfeed my daughter. Childhood comes only once and I want to make sure I am with her throughout this precious moment in her life. May not be a popular choice for others but it is for my daughter. One day I'll look back and say, "No regrets. I gave my very best." And that's what matters most. #youthemom #expomom'

Grateful. Thankful. I am simply blessed beyond words.

Of Bliss, Beauty and Blessings

I didn't come from a wealthy family nor was I raised from an economically-challenged household. Let's just say that my siblings and I were blessed to have two good parents who did everything to make our childhood days and lives a little bit easy. We didn't always have what we want but what we needed were always given to us.

I grew up and lived the kind of life I wanted: pampered and sheltered but never spoiled. Besides my parents who still supported me even when I had my own job, I was blessed to have siblings who saw me through in one way or another. I had a pretty "good" life if you may call it that. Then I got married. Still, it was favorable, for both my husband and I had jobs that sufficiently provided our daily needs. Things began to change though when I opted to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) after I gave birth to our first-born daughter. The family's needs were not directly proportional to the household income; the law of supply and demand was never applicable, there was a high demand for cash yet still there was only ample supply. Of course it was hard on me. I felt like I hit the rock bottom. It was not the kind of life I wanted for my budding family, more so for my daughter.

Almost three years have passed and I would say things are quite different now. I wish I could tell you that, "hey, myhusband's salary now has left us thinking what to buy next", or maybe like, "there's more supply (of cash) than demand (needs)." No,that's not the turnaround I'm talking about. It's more on the inward change; on how I see and perceive things, what is important or what matters most.

I learned to be more grateful for every simple thing my family and I receive. A piece of Magnum Gold given to me by a former boss; a book/s lent to me by a friend/s without due date; a call/text from a friend whom I have not seen for a long time; a toy truck lent to our daughter; a simple dinner at a friend's house; dresses given to our daughter as gift; a once-in-a-blue moon dinner/lunch date with hubby and baby; a family walk in the neighborhood at night and finding cozy coffee shops; a short trip to the bookstores; a cup of brewed coffee; a Bible verse that speaks volume to my heart; workshops/seminars I am able to attend because someone paid on my behalf; a trip/travel with hubby/daddy even if baby and I would just stay in a budget-friendly hotel while Daddy is conducting training/seminar; a video chat with my parents and siblings; a visit to my in-laws' house or lunch out with them; moments I spend with my daughter; eating lunch together at home; having someone come to the house to do the laundry and ironing of clothes; hubby washing the dishes or cooking for breakfast, lunch and dinner or massaging my tired feet; hugs, kisses and the sweet I love yous from my daughter; I could go on and on and you'll see one common thing: I'm thankful for simple things that life offers me. This is the beauty of life's curve ball; one's outlook deepens, perspective widens.

I feel blessed that God has given me the joy that is not dependent on material things. I may not have the latest gadget nor the most expensive shoes, designer bags or fashionable clothes but I'm content. Frankly, I don't need a lot to be happy. I have what I need for my God has not failed to supply it. I find this a blessing and also my bliss.